Life Blog - My Love For Photography

As I try to recall what has happened when I wrote the title of this post, only then did I realize that I wanted to write about this topic but that has been more than three months ago.

This entry is part of my life blog, where I try to make sense of the emotions, memories, and moments that shape who I am. But, do I even know who I fully am?

It was a night full of pain and hurt, uncertainty and a longing of wanting to break away. But, break away from what exactly? I often find myself asking. At the same time, as I try to reflect deeper about it, I realize that while I am feeling hurt, I do not know what causes the pain or what I am hurt by. Or is it all in my mind?

Writing about these feelings here helps me process my own life experiences and reflect on the lessons hidden within them.

Or is it that I know what's causing the pain but I just didn't want to admit it? Looking back, I may have known all along what was causing me pain, and I am just too afraid to admit it. The fear stems from the craziness and the pointlessness of the reason of the pain.

But, what has pain and uncertainty and longing of breaking away (or even a longing, in general, for something that I do not know I long for) got to do with my love for photography?

As I grow older with age, and without necessarily gaining wisdom or even being wise with anything as I dwell longer on this earth drawing more oxygen with each passing year - the more I realize that I am poor with expressing what I truly feel.

As I grow older with age, and without necessarily gaining wisdom or even being wise with anything as I dwell longer on this earth drawing more oxygen with each passing year - the more I realize that I am poor with expressing what I truly feel.

And as I find myself inadept with the expression of my feelings, I tend to wander off onto an emotional direction that has nowhere to go - or worst, I go around in emotional circles and after some time, find myself emotionally jumping off a cliff after having done a one-way climb onto mountain of emotional turmoil, without realizing it, with no means to go back down.

However, these all changes when I am one with my camera. The feeling and feelings having captured a photograph evoke a deep sense of satisfaction, of a longing that I didn't know is welling up in me.

This is where my love for photography truly shines—it becomes both my therapy and my voice when words fall short.

"Capturing a moment and immortalizing it!" is what I often read about other photographers why they love photography, when I just started. "That's one way of putting it." I often hear myself exclaimed. I thought that it may be a philosophy or a mindset that, with time, I will come to embrace.

Almost two decades have passed and I still cannot fathom nor have I come to embrace the idea that I get to immortalize a moment when I capture it. Because for me, it's all about what I feel, the happiness it triggers in my brain every single time I press on the shutter button.

Almost two decades have passed and I still cannot fathom nor have I come to embrace the idea that I get to immortalize a moment when I capture it. Because for me, it's all about what I feel, the happiness it triggers in my brain every single time I press on the shutter button.

Through this journey—both in my photography and my life blog—I’ve come to see how every image reflects my life experiences, my emotions, and the person I continue to become.