The Reluctant Shepherd: Wrestling with Purpose Like Jonah in Nineveh
A story of escaping city walls for a more fulfilling life in the province. Inspired by the prophet Jonah, the author grapples with a newfound purpose and the internal struggles that threaten to hold him back.
4/1/20242 min read
The pandemic, a grim reaper stalking the globe, had, ironically, become our unlikely benefactor. Though God, in His infinite mercy, shielded us financially, the four walls of our 26-square-meter condo squeezed the life out of us like a tightening vise. My wife, a creature yearning for open skies and the caress of earth, dreamt of her mother's haven in the province – a sprawling tapestry of emerald green woven under a boundless tapestry of blue.
December 2020, with restrictions loosening like a weary fist, presented an escape hatch. Two weeks, we planned, a mere balm on a parched soul. Two weeks bled into four years, the city lights fading into a distant memory.
This rural sanctuary harbored unexpected delights. Responsibilities, once daunting giants, became badges of honor. Caring for the rambunctious pack of dogs, a responsibility I once scoffed at, became a source of quiet pride. Yet, beneath the surface, a disquiet simmered. A persistent feeling, a melody just out of reach, hummed in my mind – God, with His grand design, had placed me here for a reason.
And then, like a bolt of lightning splitting a starless night, the purpose revealed itself. Just like Jonah, the reluctant prophet, I felt a surge of rebellion, a desperate urge to flee the calling. "These people," I grumbled to the heavens, picturing some form of divine retribution, "I cannot deal with them! I don't want to."
But with the dawning of Holy Week, a different truth washed over me. God wouldn't burden me with a task I couldn't shoulder. It was an act of surrender then, a heartfelt plea. "Guide me, Lord," I whispered, the Blessed Mother a silent beacon by my side. "Grant me strength, show me the path."
The path, however, wasn't paved with rose petals. Anger, a venomous serpent, coiled around my heart. Resentment, a festering wound, threatened to poison my spirit. Pride, a glittering shield, blinded me to the needs around me. This was the constant struggle, a war waged within – the call echoing in the chambers of my soul, battling the primal urges of my human self.
This is my story, a chronicle of urban confinement and a rural awakening. A modern-day Jonah wrestling with his reluctant faith, a testament to the enduring power of God's purpose, even when cloaked in the doubts and fears of a flawed human heart.
