What Does God Want From Me?

I went to confession yesterday and I made sure to say the sin that has been eating the core of my heart: anger and resentment.

Every time I confess, and decide that I should start forgiving, that I should forget the past - it seems like the enemy is making an extra effort so that I can see another wrongdoing being done by the person I am resenting.

Or is this a test by the Lord to see my willingness to forgive?

What's sad is that when I witness the wrongdoing, I automatically start creating scenarios in my head that would make me hate more.

But, God is always so good, and He's the best at being good, and by His grace, I'd realize, that the wrongdoing done by this person I resent, is a test on my part.

It's difficult, though. Seeing a person whom you despise doing another act that negatively affects the people around you, a selfish act - just makes things worse. It's difficult to try to understand them, all the more difficult to forgive and love them.

That's why I confessed.

I asked God for the grace to see the good things in every thing.

I asked God to guide and guard my heart.

Be with me at all times, O Lord, my God.