Benedict XVI - The Pope I Wish I Knew More

Pope Benedict XVI

As I advance in age and maturity, or at least hoping that I am advancing in this regard: maturity, I discover that I have missed so much in life. Or maybe, it's not missed in a sense that I crave to have this in the previous years of my life when I was in the particular moment of its nowness (but, i like the term presentness instead of nowness but it's always getting flagged as a non-existent word despite how comprehensible it is). One of the things, I dare say and with great regret, that I did not take much more interest with Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger or much better known as Pope Benedict XVI.

It came to my attention, at a rather much later or in the not so distant last five years of my life, that there was so much wisdom sparked inside the brain and uttered by the mouth of this late great pope.

In the past few years, I hunger for holiness, I thirst for wisdom and I want to devour as much truth as I can; and I can find them all in Christ. But, to my great shame, and with much contempt in my heart, I hate to admit that at times, or most times initially I did not strive to be what I am today - someone who hungers for the truth and late did I realize I passed on the wisdom of Pope Benedict XVI.

In hindsight, it dawned on me that maybe our drive and strive to be a better person comes with age. This, as I try to think deeper about it, to the effect of a great despair of my brain due to its very limited capacity to think of deep things, may be due to the realization, even after just a few years of living in this life, that everything this world can offer is fleeting.

Thus, the conquest to learn more and with such great kindness that my heart encountered, Pope Benedict XVI has already passed.

However, this shouldn't discourage me altogether. The late pope has left a vast amount of his knowledge and enlightening theology.

Pope Benedict XVI has left an enormous amount of books. Here's the downside, though; at least, for me in my current financial capacity, it is a downside - and the downside is due to the fact that, if it's due to the publisher milking his writings or not, I do not know, his books are quite expensive.

In addition to the hindsight that I have shared in the previous four paragraphs of this write-up, I realized the many instances of my life wherein I have awfully regretted, for the lack of better term, decisions that brought about a certain amount and level of loathing to myself for allowing such a lacking in something when I could've grabbed it when it was still present to my availability.

I have been writing about, without me realizing it, my journey to forgiveness. I can almost instantly relate this to the regrets I just wrote about; and I do not want my unforgiveness to be something I will also be regretting, again for the lack of better term, in the same way I am regretting for not grabbing the chance when I had to learn about Pope Benedict XVI.

I am 100% sure that Pope Benedict XVI wrote about forgiveness, I just do not know what specific he might have written about it. But, when I do learn about it, I will devour the book and live by it - for I am again in the deep ocean waters of possibly relapsing to unforgiveness.

I once wrote a blog about forgiveness and unforgiveness and how it does not function like an on/off switch that we can switch off our ability to not forgive and it will remain in that state forever. No, if it ever functions like an on/off switch, then there's a certain force to it that will make said switch to be always leaning towards unforgiveness.